Yo así no -disarm-

I'm driving without music, without preparing a speach, just thinking that here I turn left, then go straight, straight up, then right, digo el mapa, lo delineo con palabras, tal vez para calmarme. I arrive and you're waiting for me outside, you smile, justo ahí me acuerdo: disarm you with a smile and cut you like you want me to.
But I have to do this, because this is not how i play. I smile back and tell you to get in the car. And so it begins, I speak:

I puted myself in the palm of your hand y lo único que has hecho son malabares, I feel like I'm convincing you sometimes, like i'm going "hey, look, this could be great if you allow me to enter, you can't imagine how beautiful things can be if you share them, and i'm great, trust me", like i'm making some sort of campaign for you to take me. Y no, yo así no. I'm not asking for some formal commitment or tittle, I don't want you to promise anything because then I would be the one who starts runing... the thing is, I just want to know, I want you to tell me Today I want this to happen, or Not, that's it.

And you don't have an answer, all you can manage to say is: I don't know, because today i could tell you I want it and tomorrow not and then again i'll look for you, and it would be a rollercoaster, and i don't wanna hurt you.
Well, mister, I want to be hurt, i want you to hurt me, and I want to hurt you, because that's what people do, there's no use, and no wonders, and no memories if someone doesn't leave a scar... but i don't tell you this, i just repeat it to myself, and kiss you hopelessly, knowing i won't see you again.
I have to go, I say, you get out of the car and try to say goodbye, I remember the other part of that song: disarm you with a smile and leave you like they left me here to wither in denial, the bitterness of one whos left alone.